It’s not very normal for me to complain or whine here on the blog, but today I had an unexpected disappointment and I really need to write it out.
Today, in my 4-H Club, we had officer elections. I ran for President. Obviously, I lost. In all honesty, I did not expect to lose. Normally only one or two people run for President, and if two people run, then there is a Co-Presidency or the singular nominee wins on default.
When it came time for me to say my little speech, I inwardly had a panic attack. I started to shake, so I hid my hands behind my back. I tried to put together something decent, but it came out like this:
“Hi everyone, my name’s Autumn. I’m 16, in 11th grade, and this is my 8th year in the 4-H. I’ve always wanted to be the 4-H President, and since my time in 4-H is coming to a close, I wanted to give it a shot. I do many projects every year and I have always loved being in the 4-H!”
My competitor’s speech was pretty good, but I still held out inside for people to like me more. In the end, I didn’t win.
Mom says it’s because nobody in the 4-H knows me. I go to every single event and participate in the meeting as much as I can. I do not go to the local high school, and Mom stated that’s what caught me up- I’m too different, too weird for them to want me to be their President.
I was (and am) severely disappointed. I know just about every single member by name, and they didn’t want me as president. My first thought to the idea was “How closed-minded!” but really, it’s true.
No matter how friendly and polite I try to be, they will never trust me or want to be my friend. I’m vastly different than the majority (well, pretty much the whole) club.
I’m still going to be polite and friendly to everyone, though. It’s no reason to be mean to them, they are simply uneducated as to how my schooling works and probably intimidated because they do not view me as “regular.”
I still feel as if I let myself down. I made a choice to do alternative schooling, and it separated me from my peers. I knew that was going to happen- but really does it matter that much?
Are these children in public schools told that every single deviant out there is strange? That all of us are too different to believe we’re are still okay? That because my personal beliefs keep me from being in a system I don’t agree with? That I’m outspoken and sometimes awkward?
Although there’s a logical explanation as to why I didn’t win, I wish I could crack open their brains to know the thought process that helped them decide my competitor over me.
This must be like the U.S. Presidential elections- people pick the person they think is the most “normal” instead of the person who is different, but still slightly similar?
Even though the 4-H elections were just a little thing, it challenged my beliefs on how elections work and why people select some over others. I suppose that’s the moral of the story, pick who you honestly believe could do well instead of picking someone because they are considered “normal.”
Now that my brain’s piqued, I’ll most likely continue talking about this type of subject. I really, truly, would love to have your opinions. (Not about the election itself, but the whole picking-choosing-normal-versus-abnormal.)
PS: I didn’t mean to post this much today, but I suppose today was very mentally stimulating. How about that for a Monday, eh? :)